Tuesday 14/09/2010 6.35am

I have met a guy,he told me that he had lost his family's trust,friends' care, and the love that he prolonged for. I am not his family nor friends but he told me everything. I was merely a listener. He said that he had lost the trust long ago, a trust that is not trustworthy. He was just treated like a tenant in the house, everyday was just a normal and simple life. That's not all, he was starting to lose the care from his friends. Everyone was ignoring him, treating him like a normal guy, whom can talk to. All the care was like shit but he was trying to give his care back to them, a different and weird kind of care for his friends, which they thought that he had changed to a stranger. A stranger whom he is not a stranger, treated with remarks and comments. Everything was lost. He say that he had a very insensible inner self, a completely different guy and might hurt his friends deeply. He was controlling all the time, controlling the things that they dislike. He wanted a very wonderful and make these friendships to be memorable. But all this while he had been thinking whether he was at fault on giving a very bad, first impressions to them. On the relationship side, he told me that he wanted a love that was going to last. He made three big mistakes before the relationship, all at a very crucial time. After that, he told me that 'making a delicious cup of cappuccino does not depend on the ingredients, nor the final product' but he was looking for a long lasting duration in making this drink. He was longing to say something to the girl but did not have the chance or to say that the chance does not exist. Well, he had the chance but was not at the right timing, he said. Everything had gone, he got nowhere to go, nowhere that he can belong to. He seem that he just not suitable to exist right here, right now! He asked me whether fairytale are always happily ever after or that there is any fairytale which is not wonderful. I reply him that his fairytale does not exist, but only his life is existing in this planet. He nod his head and say......... I love her, but I need to let her go! I am so selfish towards her! Every time I ask her. She would feel very guilty to ask me to wait. If I don't ask, I felt that i will be very far away from her. All I want to know is how she felt for me. Nothing went smoothly, when she starts falling for me, I was gone! Mistakes and troubles just keep coming out from me! From that on, I pray every night, how i wish that all this stuff coming out from me could stop. Use everything I have to stop this, even the joy and happiness I have with you! I know I am very selfish but to let you be happy, I will be glad. I will stop talking to you, msging you, and stop loving you but I just......